“When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out – because that’s what’s inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside.” –Wayne Dyer
Have you ever been listening to a friend, loved one, or co-worker complain about something that someone else did to them, only to realize that this person is guilty of doing the same thing?
Years ago I heard that life reflects back to you the way you are. Hmmm. I’m not going to go so far as to say that I agree with that 100% because people get treated in ways that they would not treat others. It seems like sometimes life is just showing us the differences in people, and it is not always pretty and not to our liking. However…I do know that there are times when I know this “reflection” thing to be true. Of course it’s easier to spot it when it is happening to someone else. I’m not talking about the pleasant stuff — I think most of us feel that we deserve what we consider to be the good stuff.
I remember when I first put the question to myself. I don’t remember what the specific details were of the incident but I do remember it involved my supervisor at the time. I think she had reacted in a way that I didn’t like. What I do remember is that I posed this question to myself…”Do I ever act/react like that?” After quickly thinking about my work relationships my answer was a definite “NO.” So then I asked, “Do I react this way at home?” Ding, ding, ding, winner, winner! I’m not one of those fly off the handle when angry kind of people. Sure, I had moments of frustration at work but nothing made me lose my temper at work. But what I did realize was that when I got really,really upset over something concerning my hubby, I made sure I let him know about it immediately — because I could not stand to let the uncomfortable emotion continue to churn inside of me. No, I didn’t yell or scream to make my point but still he felt attacked and went on the defensive. My thinking was that I just wanted to get my concerns resolved but looking back I see there was more to it than that. I realize now that I also wanted to get the energy out of me. Once I became aware of my behavior, I worked on changing it.
We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” — Anais Nin
The other times I witnessed this “reflection” thing was with other people. People who lied to or deceived someone else were in turn lied to or deceived by someone else. But yet these same people would not make the connection. Yes, people will lie to you, but the stuff I’m talking about is definitely of the “reaping what you sow” nature.
Another example is hearing someone say how their sibling just will not listen to them about anything, they just do what they want — and what they are doing is not working. Well I really had to bite my tongue on that one. My thinking was, “I really feel for you, now you know how I felt when you didn’t listen to me and it all ended badly because you didn’t.” Instead I just calmly said, “Yeah, I know it can be very frustrating.”
Then there were the times when I listened to the person with anger issues complain about how their sibling displays anger. The truth was…these two people displayed anger in the same way. One day I was actually able to calmly and lovingly express my observation and the impact of just letting anything fly out of your mouth (not that I hadn’t expressed the impact of words before). You know how some people can dish it out but can’t take the same in return — well this person is like that.
Our children can also reflect traits that we have but don’t see in ourselves. When the Universe shows us the way we are, it may come in a way or from someone we don’t expect. It is not necessarily going to come from the person or entity you treated in a specific way. So, the next time something (a situation) or person upsets you, ask yourself if something is being reflected back to you.
Food for Thought:
“If you’re looking for inner peace from the outside world, you’re not going to get that. The inner peace starts with you looking at you from the inside. Understanding that everything that comes to you is what you are. Everything from friends to boyfriends to the job you get – it’s all a direct reflection of what you are on the inside.” –Mary J. Blige