“Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you; hungry before you; frightened before you; beaten before you; humiliated before you; raped before you; yet, someone survived.” –Maya Angelou
Have you ever known anyone who seems to constantly complain or cry on your shoulder about the same thing? They sound like a broken record. You keep giving them advice but they don’t take it. They don’t seem to do anything but cry or complain. It’s almost as if they enjoy wallowing in their pain — and they just want you to join them in their personal pity party. You want to help them, but after awhile you begin to lose your patience with them. So, what do you do? Below is a response to that question from the book “Acts of Faith” by Iyanla Vanzant:
“What do you do when it seems as if people want to stay in their pain? They have a story to tell and they tell you every chance they get. It may get to the point that they become so entrenched in their pain that they stop looking for a way out. Well, believe it or not, they may like where they are. Our job is to leave them there. You can point the way out of pain, but you cannot force them to get out. You can support the move beyond their limitations, but you cannot make the move. Movement requires learning from painful experiences by recognizing the role we have played. If we continually tell the story without drawing a conclusion, we become the victims of the drama of the pain.”
You can do anything you choose to do.