Are you neglecting your spouse or significant other in some way? Many years ago a good friend of mine and I were having a conversation about relationships and people getting their needs met. He said, “There is always someone willing to do for you what your mate won’t do. People are only going to go but so long without getting their needs met before they find a way to get them met.” When it comes to sex he said, “Wives think that they are punishing their husbands by not having sex with them. Well, he’s only going to put up with that for so long. Just because the wife isn’t having sex with him doesn’t mean he’s not having sex with someone else. He’s going to get his needs met.” On the other hand I’ve known good women who have been vulnerable to someone other than their husband. Not for lack of sex, but for lack of the emotional stuff. What began as a friendship turned into something more. It eventually became love. They did not leave their spouses. This is just something for you to take into consideration when you think about how you treat your mate.
A husband and wife went to counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?”
The husband thought for a moment and replied, “Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.”
Remember this — A Clean up Man or a Clean up Woman could be out there waiting for your mate.