Posts Tagged ‘Perception’

“Perception is everything. Your perception determines your reality. Not reality, just your version of reality. The problem arises when your version of reality and actual reality collide.” -Mr. Prophett

Have you ever looked at a situation, observed someone else’s behavior, or found a telephone number in your mate’s belongings and automatically made an assumption that you knew what was going on. All based on “how things looked?” I know I have. Ever get ticked off on Valentines Day, Christmas, or your birthday because you didn’t like the present your mate gave you — or didn’t give you? Did you think that was a reflection of their feelings for you? I come from a family of great gift givers, meaning we were taught to give gifts geared towards what the individual would like. Not just buying anything just for the sake of giving a gift. So you can imagine my reaction when former boyfriends or hubby fell short, or missed the mark completely. I know, I know, I was a little spoiled in that department. Here’s a funny story. One Christmas my husband asked me what I wanted. I said “a pair of diamond stud earrings.” I’m not in the habit of asking for anything. I like to be pleasantly surprised. However, this time I was prepared for his question. I even showed him a picture, let him know the size, cost and where he could purchase them. That’s all I wanted. Christmas morning came and the family is all gathered around opening gifts. Hubby waits til the end, in front of my parents, to present my gift from him. I open up the box and there was a beautiful set of diamond earrings. I’m ecstatic!!! I go into the powder room to put them on. I notice the box didn’t have a jeweler’s name on it, and the backing on the posts seemed different, not as sturdy as what you see on quality jewelry. Well curious me couldn’t leave well enough alone. Listed somewhere on or in the earring box I found a tag that said the earrings were cubic zirconia! He’d never bought me cubic zirconia before. I was hurt and I was pissed! I think you ladies out there can understand, but for you men, here’s why. After all our years together, after all we’ve been through — I’ve been a good wife and mother and you don’t even care enough to give me real diamonds, instead you try to pass them off like the real thing (of course he denied this). I was thinking “how could he really love me and get me this kind of gift?” Cubic zirconia from your child is fine. You don’t expect to get it from your hubby — not unless you are young, or are just starting your lives together — and you’re broke. Besides, I felt I was too old to be getting cubic zirconia as a gift from hubby. It didn’t matter if other people didn’t know the difference — I knew, and I wanted the real thing or nothing at all. I’d even have preferred it if he told me in advance that he thought they were too expensive, couldn’t afford it and was going to get me something else. But I knew I’d picked out a pair that were on sale for a very reasonable price. Long story short, he felt bad, took the fake earrings back to the store and bought me a pair of real diamond stud earrings. No, I didn’t make him. Thanks for hanging in here with me so far. The point is — my thinking, my perception was off. I was kind of stressed from all the holiday shopping and I can be kind of sensitive sometimes when it comes to gifts from him. Not always, just sometimes. I don’t react this way when I receive gifts from others — it’s just him. I’m working on it. Be careful about making quick judgements and reading into things. One of my old co-workers used to say — “perception is everything.” Banks want to make you think they care about you. You see their ads on tv saying — put your money with us, we’ve got savings programs to meet your needs, we pay more interest than any other bank, get your car loan or home loan here. Perception. Yet, banks are the same entities foreclosing on people’s home loans. Hmmm, where is the tv ad for that? Think about your behavior and the perceptions you may give others — is it negative or positive? Here’s a funny video about perception:

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