I just got back from attending a farewell party for a good friend of mine who will be working in Africa for at least one year. We met at work over fifteen years ago and have been friends ever since. We’ve been there for eachother through good times, and not so good times — divorce, marriage, raising kids, moves, illness, and job changes. Even though she will be living far away, I know we will keep in contact. I consider her a lifetime friend. Thinking of her leaving reminded me of all the moving around I did as a military brat. I was always leaving friends or getting left because they moved. It was never easy, and it didn’t get easier as time went by. There were always tears, followed by sadness, and sometimes just a deep feeling of lonliness. You keep in contact for awhile and then one day one of you just stops writing. There was no fight, no reason, you both just stopped. I learned that friends come and go, and your life goes on. I have made new friends since that time — some have come and gone, and some have remained. Anyone else out there experience the same thing? Ever wonder why? Perhaps this poem will shed some light on things for you:
Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown
You might also like:
What’s the Purpose of Relationships?
I so agree – people come when either you need them or they need you.
My husband also moved a lot being in a military family.
I concur. I believe everyone that comes into your life is a piece of the puzzle. And once…all the pieces have been placed together, the puzzle is complete, thus fulfilling your journey. Such a beautiful and relevant poem, thanks for sharing.
i’ve always heard the quote but never read the whole poem. awesome post. *kae*
Thank you for your comment. I think it’s a good poem to keep in mind.
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I’ve always gone back to that advice/poem? when looking at the people in my life. I’m a firm believer in everything happens for a reason (which is why I really don’t believe in regret) and I measure the people in my life by season, reason or lifetime. It’s hard to hang on and truly value anyone who’s only seasonal….I learn the most from the lifetime folks and value the lessons from the reason folks.
S: Thanks for stopping by the blog. Like you, I don’t think everyone is supposed to stay in our lives for as long as we live. I could never understand these women who wanted to be friends with a guy after they broke up. My rule was once I’m done with you, I’m done. If you couldn’t treat me right in the relationship, why would I now want you as a friend? Thank you for your comments. Hope you’ll come back to visit again. Take care, A.
If you think really hard and apply that thought..you will realise soon enuff tht the seasonal ppl have a relevance but often a poignant purpose..no matter who, where or when or however long for.,.its all relevant…even the smallest of lessons play a part and have huge impact..be happy and keep well xx
This is my favorite poem of all time! It’s by Eleanor Roosevelt, by the way 🙂
G: I’ve also read online that there is a man claiming to be the author of this poem, but mostly it’s been listed as the author being “unknown.” This is the first time I’ve heard of Eleanor Roosevelt being the author. Thanks for the info, and for visiting the blog. Hope you will come back again. 😎
well, hi all
i agree its true that the poem is too gud..
bt certain time interpretation of this poem certain people wil lead to disaster of the other person’s feeling….
Someone who loves a lot n supported whole of d difficult time and wanna share entire life with that person n support d same way as he/she did til nw…..
But if the other end person reads dis poem n feel he/she doesn’t need d one who stood by his/her, leaves him/her.. stating read this poem n move on…..
World is nowhere right… plz let me find an answer for a circumstance like dis…..
I want ur suggestions,
Thank you….
wow what you said is so true I have a similar circumstance, I know its like a year later but what ever happened?
I came across this post while looking for rainy day quotes and I have read this poem five times now. I recently lost a friend who falls into the “reason” category. I am still mourning this loss of friendship and this poem has truly made me see things from a different perspective. Thank you for posting it. Your blog is beautiful and I have been spending time viewing your past posts. Thank you. My heart feels calmer.
J: Losing a close friend is difficult. I wish I could offer some remedy for dealing with the loss, but I don’t have one. Sometimes things get better with time. Glad you could find some bit of comfort in these words. Thank you for visiting the blog and for taking the time to comment. Hope you will visit again. Peace be with you. Take care, A.
I think this Poem tells it exactly as it is. I have experienced the Reason, Season and Lifetime Friendships as I am sure many have too. I pray that As I read this poem over and over again, it will remind me why. It will help me to continue to reach out even though a Friendship may come for a Season.
This poem was brought to my attention, just recently. And although every situation is different, it has a lot of merit!
Especially in everyday encounters.
My friend just came across this for me. I knew I had heard this poem before and recently have been looking for it to share with someone. There is so much truth to this poem. Thank you for posting it.
I love this poem. It is so true. Sometimes we can’t appreciate their time with us when they don’t stay for a lifetime, when we’re heart broken over their departure. But soon enough, when the emotions have died down, that we realize why they were just for a reason or a season. Things happen for a reason… sometimes we find out and sometimes we don’t but it all works out in the end.
E: Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us. I agree with you, sometimes we are broken hearted over the end of a relationship, but life does go on. Take care, A.
that is a beautiful poem. it applies to me. I have lost two wonderful husbands.and I believe every thing happens for a reason and a purpose. GOD KNOWS BEST.
S: I’m saddened to hear about your losses. Even though I know that death is something we all will face, I know it is never easy losing a loved one. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Stay strong. Take care, A.
Hi,
I am currently in this situation. The relationship that I am in now has made me remember this quote. Today, when I looked it up to read, I came across your site. Thank you for the words that you have taken the time to place here. I have tried to explain this to my friend. He isn’t ready to accept it. While I am trying to figure it out, He is stuck on believing it will be a lifetime. What I know right now is that I have helped him accomplish something that has been missing for some time. The reason may have been met. The season may be over. The lifetime lesson will be used. The words I sent to him are as follows:
I feel afraid that the reason has been met. I am sad the season is ending. My heart aches knowing that life goes on without you close to me. I cry tears of joy for the hopes that I have helped you find. I choke on the tears that fall from my heart that will miss you so much…
I also enjoyed your post of Steve Jobs speech. Inspirational words stick to me. If possible, I have some that I would like to share with you. Please respond when you are able. Again, Thank You.
PS. I originally read this in a book titled ACTS OF FAITH by Iyanla Vanzant. Not sure if she is the original author years ago. Just an FYI 🙂
Mona: Your words have touched my heart. Thank you for sharing what you are going through right now. I know that making the decision to end a relationship isn’t always easy. I don’t know your situation, or whether or not you really want to stay in your relationship, but if there is any glimmer of hope left please take a moment and read one of my other posts titled, “What’s the Purpose of Relationships?” Sometimes relationships can begin to feel kind of stale. Sometimes they feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster. Either way, that can be an opportunity for growth — together or alone. I believe we all have our own life lessons to learn — some of them are together as a couple, and some of them are just for the individual. Being married has definitely made me grow — and I haven’t always enjoyed the learning process. Whatever your decision, I wish you peace.
I received “Reason, Season, or Lifetime” many years ago in an email and liked it so much that I kept it. An author’s name was not mentioned. I also like inspirational words and would love it if you shared some with me. Feel free to email me any time at lifelessons4u2@gmail.com
Thanks for stopping by the blog. Hope you will become a regular visitor. Take care, A.
Sorry to be in the minority here, but I think this poem is just what it is; a poem.
The part that really gets my goat is the ‘reason’ friend.
I think it is a poor excuse to flip off a friend and extremely self-centered. The poem is all about me, me, me.
You keep a friend for as long as it serves your purpose and then drop them? Sorry, not buying it.
I believe this poem is about all relationships, not just friendships. This poem is not a reason to dump someone. If someone reads it and uses it as an excuse to dump someone, then they were already thinking about leaving the relationship long before reading this. Some relationships that fall into the “reason” category: One-night-stands, helping a stranger with a flat tire, giving someone money in the grocery store when they don’t have enough money to cover the bill — these two are examples of just helping out someone in time of need. During the course of my life I’ve had a favorite teacher or two but am no longer in contact with them. We (the teachers and I) moved on with our lives.
such a luvly way of explaining the meaning of ‘relationships’..and yes they do come in weird but wonderful ways. Personaly..i believe that all of them are a positive..no matter how and why they end..maybe at the time we are not sure why..but soon enuf as time passes, the answer does come..but to only those who have sight to live and learn. xx
people can be severly harmfull….. and when a FRIEND IS “DROPED” it is usualy a very neaded thing because people hurt you and they arent your “friend” any longer…. so this “poem” as you put it is VERY VALID in its truth….
@ Eva– I agree with you 100%. The poem/quote provides a poor excuse. I would hope if you let some one so closely into your life they stay in your life in some way, you don’t just make an excuse for there precense. If you don’t have the courage to back out of something you have self work to do, don’t do it behind a poem/qoute, not fair to the person that served such a meaningful purpose!
I have a couple of friends who live across the street from me. It took a long time before we even began to speak; they tended to keep to themselves. But I always made it my business to speak anyway and eventually one of them started briefly conversing with me regularly. It took about two more years for his partner to say more than a cordial “hello”, but I am persistent and one day when I complimented him on the flowers he was growing he veryexcitedly gave me some seeds. I had found his passion, and like his flowers and all his other plants, our friendship blossomed. He treated our friendship the same way he did his flowers, with kindness and care. They took in foster children and sometimes I’d take care of the boys when they needed a little help or just listen when an ear was needed early in the morning after the kids all went to school. They helped me out too, by hiring my son when he needed work and encouraging my young daughter when she was being relentlessly teased for being overweight. Many of our neighbors could not unbderstand how we wound up being so friendly with these two men who didn’t seem to want to be close to people. I’ve always felt very confortable with them, they are down to earth but they just have no tolerance for nosey people. Today, my daughter started choking on some food (mozzarella sticks) and I could not do anything to get it out no matter how hard i tried. I was injured at work several years ago and have little strength in my dominant right hand and arm, so the Heimlich maneuver just wasn’t working, no matter how hard I tried. It seemed that each of my eforts only made the congealed cheesse and sauce go slowly back in and out, in and out and it was so congealed that it was just strangling her. Frantic, I pushed her out my front door, screaming for help as I called 911. I kept trying to do the Heimlich, and only succeeded in reinjuring my right hand wrist and arm. But I kept trying, all the while screaming for help out into the quiet street. People opened up doors , came out on porches and I saw some dialing 911. One friend of mine came up on my porch trying to calm me down while I tired to convey to the operator what she needed to know, which was difficult because I was panicked because my daughhter couldn’t breathe. All kinds of stuff was coming out of her throat and her nose and yet she still couldn’t breathe, the cheese was just stretching in and out but not letting go. Then I heard a voice say “I’m trained for this!”…and I glanced around and saw my neighbor friend getting out of his car, closing the door and running toward my house in one fell swoop. He took over and soon afterward, I heard him say “I got it.” Then the ambulance arrived. My baby was so worn out she just sat on the steps, answering questions in a small voice with everything that had been inside her all now over her, the steps, the porch, the bushes and my friend. Whn I called his partner atw ork to tell him what had happened he already new. He said he’d gotten the call from his own partner who said he couldn’t imagine letting anything happen to my little girl. They expressed such love and care for us in that phone conversation that I knew that not only are they our friends, but they are our friends for life. Yes, a lifetime. From simple nods, to tentative hello’s, to a smile, a compliment, to sharing kids, recipes, long cnversations…it dawned on me, that we share our lives with each other, and I am so grateful.
God knows what He’s doing….and I thank Him so much.
T: Wow, what a story! Thank you for sharing it with us. Take care, A.
I’ve just found this page so Tonya, your story just blew me away! I love your story…& thank you lifelessons4u, its a lovely page & I for one will never see this gorgeous comforting ‘poem’ as anything but a light in our hearts, when its heavy from ‘friendship sadness’, as I will call it. Pain no matter how small, hurts. End of story. There needs to be no guilt as to who is/was to blame for an ending but to just know, it happens… & we move on in the present, remembering but not weighing ourselves down with that past. Thank you. May I share this?
J: So happy you took the time to leave this comment. Thank you. Yes, you may share this. Take care, A. 😎
I absolutely love this poem… I am only 12 but i’ve known my friend since before I remember. She’s been acting up lately and really putting me down… I love her because she’s my sister. But im afraid that shes only a reason friend and I dont want her to be… If she is then I know I have to just except it… Im confused and frustrated and annoyed and the list goes on and on… This girl who’s my friend she has had a rough past and hasn’t had any true friends… Im actually her only true friend, and thats another reason im afraid to leave her. Please help me with this. Im also afraid of her knowing I feel this way… I tend to keep things bottled up and we get in a lot of fights. (which I ALWAYS try to avoid) Please help me I have no idea what to do and its stressing me out. Thank you for your time and thank you for this post!
~Liz~
Liz: No one can tell you whether or not to keep a friendship. My suggestion is to talk to your friend and let her know how you feel. You can mention that you’ve noticed she’s been a little snippy lately and ask her what’s going on with her — is something bothering her? If you just absolutely don’t want to discuss this matter with her, then my suggestion is to limit the amount of contact you have with her. We can’t choose our family, but we can choose our friends. Why be around someone who is constantly bringing you down? I hope this helps. Take care, A.
A few years ago a relatively new but special friend of mine used this poen as her way of ending our friendship. She sent this poem without explaination and then never contacted me again.
I was left puzzled by this because I did not know which kind of friend she considered me.
It was not until some months had gone by that I finally accepted that I was either a friend for a reason or a season and not one for life.
That was devestating to me.
I felt so wonderful in her company, there seemed to be an energy that I could feel and I really felt that we had a special conection.
Apparently, my enthusiasm for our friendship was greater than hers. I may have frightened her off with my enthusiasm.
I suppose she thought she was being kind, but it was the worst possible way she could end the friendship.
I was left hanging, unsure of exactly what she meant. In a few weeks it became clear that I was not to be considered a freind for a lifetime.
There was no reason why the friendship had to be limited to a season. Yes we met on a summer job, but we connected on a higher level. We had common interests that would be a good foundation upon which to build a deeper friendship. After the season ended we still did some things together and I thought our friendship would continue to grow. There was absolutely no reason she should have ended the friendship just because the seasonl job was over.
If there was a reason, it was to her benefit.
For me the reason for our friendship was to fill a very empty void in my life. I didn’t have any true friends left, they had all drifted away. There was no one I could trust and proabably more importantly, there was no one left with whom I could enjoy that long lasting friendship that lasts a long, long time. In her I saw the potential of that great friendship that lasts forever. That was MY reason! She did not satisfy any short term reasons that was not already being fulfilled by someone else.
So if there was a reason that she had for our friendship, and I fulfilled that and was no longer needed, shouldn’t there at least be some gratitude? Did I deserve to be used to fulfill her needs without having my own needs fulfilled?
In that respect, I feel the message of the poem falls short. Friendships are not always two way. Sometime one gives and the other takes without reciprocating.
When it was over I may have fulfilled a need for her, but my need was not only not fulfilled, it was made worse. I felt more in need of a special friend than I did before it started. All I got out of it was a profound sense of loss.
The sad thing is that when a special friend dumps you, you don’t have a special friend to console you. I was left on my own, wondering what the hell happened, what did I do wrong and why was I not worthy.
Obviously there was some reason why she didn’t want to continue the friendship, I know not what it was though.
But she discovered that poem and used it as a jusitification for ending the friendship.
The poem also fails to address this: When a freidnship starts, whether it be for a season or a reason, there is nothing that says it must end! A season or reason may just be the seeds of s friendship of a lifetime.
Friends for life do not just pop into existance, they grow out of new friendships, they develop over time.
She could not really say that our friendship was only a season/reason friendship because she didn’t keep it open ended. She closed the door and ended it.
It probably would have ended anyway and I was probably delluding myself into thinking it was something special.
Or perhaps it might have struggled along over time and suddenly one day, years down the road, we would discover that we had become old and trusted friends…one day at a time.
Since there was no particular incedent that occured that should have angered her to the point that she felt the need to dump me, I have to conclude that she just really didn’t like me. If something had happened and we had parted in anger…I could accept that. But to just not be liked enough to be her friend…that was extremely painful to realize.
So I wished this poem had never been written. Or at least, I wish the writter had put more thought into to consider other circumstances than the three he described.
This whole thing has become a matter of discussion amongst my friends that rivals the debates over Stocktons parable of “The Lady or the Tigar.”
I wish I could express my thoughts about this to her, if for no other reason than to have some closure. But I have no way of contacting her so I can’t.
Maybe like Stockton, the poet could write something to address the shortcomings of his poem. Then maybe, perchance she would read it and realize how cruel it was to use that poem as a justification for ending our friendship.
I am so sorry your friend dumped you with no more notice than a poem in your email. That doesn’t prove that she was in your life for a reason or a season, but it does prove that she wasn’t mature enough to discuss why she decided to duck out. Terrible. *hugs*
Try not to take it personally, Dayna. Everyone doesn’t follow the Golden Rule. Hopefully, you can forgive her and get some closure. I hope you don’t allow this ‘friend’ to spoil it for all future friends. That would be so tragic.
I hate that poem because people don’t know how to apply it if there really were any validity to it. The sentiments expressed in the poem fit like horoscopes do….so vaguely that you have to stretch reality to try to make it apply.
I have never met anyone who impacted my life at all who didn’t teach me something that will last a lifetime. That would make everyone lifetime people, whether we are actively involved in each other’s lives or not. Everyone I have ever crossed paths with has been in my life for a reason. The poem says to only cultivate a strong foundation with lifetime people. The people who aren’t in my life anymore are the people who helped me build a foundation FOR the people who are staying around….even the ones who’s relationship with me ended less than ideally.
The first sentence says we need to figure out whether someone is in our lives for a reason, season or lifetime so we know what to do with them. Why? Why not be grateful to God for the blessings we have and try to be a blessing to others while we have the opportunity to do that, regardless of the length of time? The Word says our lives are like a puff of smoke. Let’s just enjoy it and be good to everyone…not just the people we think will be around years later.
i love this……..its been years since i have seen it and really need it in my live right now.thank you so much.
God Bless EVERYONE who reads this……………………
I LOVE THIS, HOW do i get it sent to my e-mail addy???
PLEZZZZZZZ HELP, THANX
Beverly in ALASKA
August 26th,2010
I miss Michael Jackson and my puppy ASHLEY GRACE LOVE terribly. they are in Heaven now and i wanna be WITH them
very soon………………………….
It is a beautiful sentiment when you are thinking of a friend for a lifetime. When I think of the best friend I ever had, a friendship that lasted 25 years until she passed ten years ago.
The thing is we didn’t know we were friends for life until we had known each other for ten years. Had I heard that poem before I underdstood the depth of our friendship, I might have judge her to be a friend for a reason. The was a very distinct reason why we became friends but the reason faded away after five or six years but we remained friends for another twenty.
We can’t know that a friend is just a friend for a season or a reason until that season or reason are long gone. A season or a reason may be why a friendship begins, but not necessarily why it continues.
When a lifelong friendship begins, we don’t know it’s going to be a lifelong friendship, no matter how strong our feeling is. It may start out strong, or it may start out weak and slowly grow. But in the begining starts out as just a friendship for a season or a reason.
We cannot be judgemental about what a friendship is in the beginning because we never know what it may grow into. It might even be with a person you don’t even like in the beginning, but grow to like in time.
If we try to catagorize the friendship before it has the time to grow and mature, we might be missing out on the friendship of a lifetime.
So any poem singing praise to the virtues of lifelong friendship is a good thing. But discounting new friendship and brushing it off as only a friendship for a reason or a season before that friendship has had the chance to grow..that’s not a very friendly sentiment now is it?
Think of the many things in life that didn’t work out at first. Suppose we gave up on them like that? We’d be missing out on the best things in life.
The best things in life don’t always manefest themselves right away,. they need time to grow and mature. If we are using a reason or a season as a standard of measure, then we will never have a friend for a lifetime, they would have all been abandoned when they were just beginning.
hi ,
a friend , more of a sisterly kind entered my life a year back. she came in for a reason ( as a teacher ) but then she got along with me more than what just a teacher would do … she seemed to be more of a friendly sister … i love her so much coz of various reasons …i know she loves me too. she stayed beside me when i needed her the most at times of happiness as well as times when i was down … she treated me more like her kid … now she is in a position to part due to some reason … i know ill miss her the most n i crazily want her. she seems to be moving away from me even before the actual time for her to leave has come … this makes me miss her even more … when i think of times spent with her i feel some kind of hollowness within me … i feel left out .. i want to get out of this .. this feeling makes me go mad .. could you please help me out … : (
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Im in the process of losing a very sweet,close ,long time friend, the season is over. While its very much in the painful era…its hard to see the reason but in my heart of hearts there has been huge changes in both our lives.
I have grown in confidence and climbed over pillars thanks to our special friendship. And my friend ..has grown into a likable, hugable laughing fun loving person. Late in life but we both shared in this wonderful relationship.
Im now in the process of ending our season..
I remembered this poem and looked it up to remind myself
..very hard but its true …an easier pill to swallow maybe in time to come. Thank you for supporting hurting people when they needed it. Take care
I was given a copy of this poem back in 1988 by a friend to help me understand a particular relationship problem at that time in my life. Understanding and acceptance are two things that go hand and hand sometime we may understand but not accept and other time we accept with out understanding and then there are time were we accept and understand. I had a man in my life during this time period which I need to make a diffcult decision about going to school full-time and quitting my job or continue part-time as is. I was the sole provider for me and my three chldren two of which was attending cathloic school tuition needed to be paid every month to continue this type of education. I was stressed about tuition, rent and other bills. I did not want to get on public assistance. The advice he gave me was to trust in the decision that I knew that would be right at this particular time in my life. Well I quite my job we were living together at the time and he assured me he would be there for me. The next day he started an argument for no reason and packed his things and moved out. I did not understand how this could happen just so fast until a friend whom I was talking to about the situation gave me a copy of this poem about reason, season and lifetime. After reading the poem then I understood and accept that he was not in my life to become a part of life for a long time but to help me with a diffculty problem that I was afraid to make at the time not knowing that it was a good decision and everything worked out great. So, just to say he was a reason in my life an a lesson to learn and understand and accept. This is a great poem for everybody to read and I hope that people will understand accept the true meaning of this wonderful poem.
I found your blog while trying to find this very “reason, season, lifetime” quote. (Didn’t know it was by Eleanore Roosevelt. I admire her so much, but this is more than the first quote by her that I’m not altogether on board with.)
I feel I’ve been used and discarded (maybe “downsized” is a better word) by someone I’ve known my whole life and who I’ve been friends with for several seasons during our lives. During “off seasons” we’ve stayed in touch with Christmas and birthday cards, and the e-mails she sends to tell me what’s going on in her life.
She’s had illnesses (of loved ones) to deal with and losses. She’s been dealt a tough hand. I have responded with more than the Hallmark sympathy card. I was there in every way I could think of. I didn’t do it thinking someday she would do the same for me. But it never occurred to me she would NOT be there.
We’ve sent each other all kinds of friendship “proclamations”–mugs, cards, e-mails, etc., talking about the value of a “real” friend.
I’ve shared very little with her about my life. I’ve always felt her problems took priority since they were so much bigger than mine. And the good things in her life, like vacation homes and constant travel for family events and to travel abroad, are much more interesting than the good things in my life. But I have listened and responded and been there for her, never dreaming that she wouldn’t be there for me.
I started telling her things about my life, the boring health concerns that keep me homebound and make me fearful about getting around as well as I could. She got bored and frustrated with me at this point. She finally withdrew for months at time, reemerging only to update me on her latest trip, adventure, exciting thing. I felt abandoned. I wrote and told her she had changed toward me and it hurt. She admitted it, and told me she was eliminating all negative things from her life. That would mean me. She wasn’t eliminating me, she just wasn’t going to talk to me about anything going on in my life. That’s what it boiled down to.
I feel certain that in my younger years (I am 60) I “moved on” and left people. I moved around a lot and callously felt I’d simply meet new people as I myself moved on. Am I being paid back for this?
I no longer want to view friends as being there for a season or a reason. I know I have to accept that not all friends can be all things, but to just dump someone because they no longer fill a need? Nope. That is cold.
I just stumbled across this poem and at the age of 58 people move on in their lives without giving you a moments notice. I also realized that I was more of a reason to be a friend to her by helping her clean her house put up and put down her christmas tree, mind you she has a grown son and daughter in law that can help her. It dawned on me that I am a reason so I will just very quietly walk away. It is not my loss but hers.
yeah exactly !! .. like ur comment .. 🙂 … i love this poem as well !! …. iv loved a teacher too … i still love her loads n wanna stay attached .. shes moved on with her life … bt im still trying to move on … i really thought such a wonderful person wld be there with me throughout … bt only after coming across this poem iv really understood y she came into my life n why is she trying to move away … thanks !!
THank you for posting this, I needed to know the difference of Reason, Season, and lifetime. Just went through something so amazing and then difficult…. Now I know it was for a Reason. Bless you.
Learning to reason,will help you get through all the seasons, so you can endure a full Life of time. Because time is the key. Like Scotty said on Star Trek, “I just need a little more time,Chaptain”,. Stay safe my friends.
Personally, this poem confuses me. Even though I like the poem, I catch myself trying to figure out which of my relationships fit into each of the categories and I find that it’s not so black and white. For exameple, If I had a relationship that is for a reason, and that reason is to teach me lessons that last a lifetime, doesn’t that mean even if the relationship ends suddenly, the relationship still lasts a lifetime, because of what I’velearned and can now apply to other relationships throughout my life? Maybe I think too much but this always comes up for me when I read this poem. Thanks
Well, in looking back over my previous post it now becomes clear to me that all I really needed to do was write it down and look at it to truly understand. The above relationship was for a reason and the learning experience provided in that reason, is what may well last a lifetime. It’s a matter of trusting the universe and letting go.
Dear A.
I was searching for that poem and found your blog, and I just wanted to say thanks! Now I can send a friend to it as well, one who is in need of comfort on the topic of friendship and loss.
Renee
Renee: Thanks so much for stopping by the blog and for sharing this with your friend. I hope this poem really does bring them some comfort. Take Care, A.
Very well stated. Accepting and living this will be harder than reading it. But all good things must come to an end:( No regrets:)
I hope all of you can reach deep inside yourself and know that the mind can take you places that your heart won’t let you stay. Stay safe my friends.
[…] always have a special place in my heart. I know we will always stay in touch because we’re lifetime friends […]
[…] I used to try and get everyone together from time to time but with each attempt I was met with, “Oh man, my schedule is so packed right now I just can’t squeeze one more thing in right now.” And so I just gave up. I guess it’s true that people come into your life for certain reasons or for a certain amount of time; People Come Into Your Life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. […]
I Love the Photo, I wander to this sight just to look at it and I have it as a screen saver. I can feel the peace as if I were sitting under the trees.
This is a very nice site, thanks for sharing, it means so much to so many…
Brenda you should always hold dear a friendship, because in the end all they wrote, pencil broke. Stay safe my friend.
I just came out of a 6 years relationship and met someone new. But he stopped talking to me out of nowhere and for some weeks I didn’t had peace wondering what is wrong. It was really hard because I trully fell in love. But I have let go now and realised just as the article above states that some people are in your life just for a reason 🙂 Thanks
B: So sorry to hear about your heartache. Unfortunately we open up our hearts and get hurt. Take this time to fuel your spirit by spending time with people whose company you enjoy and do things that bring you joy. A. 😎
Some people come into our lives as a blessing, other come as a lesson. Learn and know the different. Stay safe my friends
I am not sorry about anything I enjoyed every moment even though it hurt after. I have lived and learned and now I am moving forward and meeting other people. It is a fact that in life we will sufffer but it is also a fact that we will be happy and find true love. Thank you for your encouraging words 🙂
i’m using this at a freind’s memorial today
I am for a lifetime
She died and then she went to heaven. But St. Mark promises our God is the Lord of the Living. Therefore, she went to heaven and then died.
Thanks for the post. I only heard the first couple of lines as well. And the thing that I used to have issues with is trying to make seasonal people become lifetime expectations and wondering why things did not work out. Thanks again!
supperb! nice poetry…
Like you , I moved around a lot. My dad couldn’t settle down, and dragged us around with him. I never had friends, cause I knew I would have to leave them again.
Fast forward a couple of years, and I moved to a different country, leaving behind the few friends I made. I haven’t seen my best friend in 9 years, but we talk at least 2 or 3 times a week. Like nothing has changed.
I love the poem. I have had people in my life that fits all the periods, and I now recognise that I have been that for people in my life.
Thank you for sharing
E: Thank you for sharing your story. Take care, A.
Who know’s why, People do the things to people, for no reason and totally out of season. But we must go on in life. Remember you must go to the place in life ,where you will be appreciated,and not tolerated. For then you will know the reason,why your ‘re in the right season, for your lifetime. Stay safe my friends.
Beautiful words, which are soo healing and never seem to lose their power. I don’t see the words as giving people the excuse to dump someone. If not the words, they would find another way of doing it – maybe texting or just disappearing. Reason, season, lifetime? At the time it can be hard to tell. It’s only when the bond with a close friend starts to weaken that we suspect that the friendship we thought was for a lifetime may be coming to an end. When one person walks away, I don’t think it’s always a conscious thing, but possibly a higher/soul decision. Maybe for that reason we can’t understand the reason for an ending for years … if ever. But there always seems to be some kind of lesson to be learned – like understanding ourselves better; maybe the need to move in a different direction, meet new people and get out of our comfort zone. Changes that might not have occurred otherwise. I’m really glad to have stumbled on this site, and I’m certain I found it for a reason. I have been (semi)-dumped by a close friend who is trying to pretend that all is still well between us. Ouch! Love to you all.
amazing words thanks for sharing. The most important lessons to be taught and learned from are often painfull and its our friends who help us through.
Thank you for sharing this wise poem…and for all the other wisdom sprinkled throughout your blog….simply wonderful. xox
T: Thank you for the encouraging words. Please continue to visit the blog. Take care, A. 😎
I just recently had a longtime friend of 25 years come through for business we haven’t seen eachother in over 10 yrs. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first slow dance and my first TRUE LOVE. One day we went to dinner, the next we talked, the next a movie, the next desert the next listened to music. He told me stories of his life and trully expressed himself in a way I never have seen or felt. He then had to leave. This 12 days was the best time of my life!!!! My outlook on life is sooo different now I’m excited to see what tomorrow brings. I know he came in my life for a “Season” We laughed, cried a little and still have a BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP.
S: Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us. Take care, A. 😎
As a retired soldier. I have ran across a lot of good people and learned a lot of life lessons. But the hardest leason of all is being lonely.
**Life is a lesson and you can learn from your ‘reason, season & lifetime’ friendships!!** Do not make a ‘mountain out of a mole hill. Thank GOD for giving them to you for whatever reason. Just remember to be the best friend ever for however long and if they have to leave you, you still will have them in your ‘heart and mind’….the memories are yours to cherish and can never be taken away!!! I thank GOD for everyone that has come into my life for whatever reason…..there is ALWAYS a lesson learned…..be it ‘bad or good’!! It will make you a better person!!
Well said and very true!
Hi I have just come across this poem it is perfect timing as an old friend over 10 years old decided not to be friends i hope with time i can see the reason why, letting go isn’t easy.
Some people try to keep you in neutral, they have hidden agenda’s
This poem is the best ending for ending a class. Students of all ages come into my life for our Personality, Confidence and Communications trainings; in other words our Finishing School trainings. By the end of the course, most every student feels like a dear friend. Some remain so and many disappear. Through this poem, we can understand why and how we meet or leave. Thank You for this space and for sharing with so many others too. .
I’ve learned that the best friends are blood family members with whom you have something in common and shared history . Friendships seldom last for one reason or another, and it’s devastating to one when they either die a sudden death or just drift away.There is no lesson in the loss, except that some people are just jerks who use others for their own benefit, and move on when circumstances or better opportunities turn up. I’ve learned only one lesson from a couple of failed friendships, and that is that nothing lasts forever, and that the energy and empathy I put into them was one way. Family friendships are as close as it’s possible to get to lifetime friendship. I don’t think husbands are best friends; the man-woman thing gets in the way.My best friend growing up was my father, who after the divorce from my mother, never married again, but made my sister and me his life. Now that he is gone, my best friend is my sister.
Friendships outside the family are a waste of energy.
Love this poem, it has helped me many times to remember…my thoughts:
Sometimes we all need closure of some kind in our life, it can come in the way of death of a loved one, a relationship ending…be it a friendship, or ending a new love or old one. But what we learn helps us grow. The pain is real and the beauty of it is the “lessons” and for us to hear in our inner self. We can’t stop loving or growing no matter our age…learn, love and most of all LIVE!
It’s those little things in life that people do for you or you do for them …that leaves foot prints on your heart…
I just experienced this omg..its was like a heaven sent as u say.. then out out nowhere that person was gone. .but I understood why they were in my life for. A reason..I only wish I could have said goodbye..
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The words of this poem are so beautifuly expressed that in the beginning, I thought; “this is so true”. I read back this poem after many months and my thoughts are somewhat different. I agree that people come into your life and leave a mark, either in the form of a lesson, wisdom, experience or just opening your mind. I think though, in this day and age, most people used one another, some people “move on” sort of speak, and others are disposed of like stepping stools. It has happened to me to reconnect with someone or rekindle a friendship and as people change, the relationship also improves in a different level. Perhaps is a cultural thing, but where I come from, some friends stay forever friends. When it comes to husbands or boyfriends or the reverse in case of a man, sometimes its better to close the relationship for good because it can cause you further pain or damaged your self esteem. If a person comes back to you with time, I always keep the door open and see if the reconnection is worth while, and only then.
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Can someone please shed some light to me on this poem. I had someone mail this poem to me. I’m confused on what they are trying to tell.
OMG……This is so very true , letting go is not easy but must be done , if not all i can see is a continuous life of hurt over and over again, it hurts to let go but must be done in order for you yourself to grow……Some people just don’t know how to appreciate what they have until its all gone, and you can’t make a person be who you want them to be .