What was I Thinking?

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” —Soren Kierkegaard




We all have those moments in our lives when we look back and say…”What was I thinking?” Maybe if we had just asked ourselves one question — like the one here in this video clip from the tv show “The Office,” we could have prevented some of those moments from happening. Although the advice is meant to be funny, I still think it’s some good advice.







“Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the successes of the wise.” — Marcus Porcius Cato

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Are You Open-minded?

A closed mind is not only closed to outside thoughts, it is often closed to itself as well. It is closed to new thoughts and anything that threatens the status quo. But if you can open the doors, maybe just a crack at first, the ideas that have been patiently waiting at your gates will flood in.”

Are you really as open-minded as you like to think you are?




Open-minded:

– Receptive to new and different ideas or the opinions of others. (the free dictionary and yourdictionary.com)

– having a mind that is open to new ideas; free from prejudice or bias (yourdictionary.com)

– receptive to arguments or ideas. (Merriam-Webster’s dictionary)







‘We all operate in two contrasting modes, which might be called open and closed. The open mode is more relaxed, more receptive, more exploratory, more democratic, more playful and more humorous. The closed mode is the tighter, more rigid, more hierarchical, more tunnel-visioned. Most people, unfortunately spend most of their time in the closed mode.’ –John Cleese




‘Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.’ –Mark Twain

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The Difference Between Men’s Brains and Women’s Brains

Do you think there are differences between the way men and women think?

Check out this video – “Men’s Brains vs. Women’s Brains.” It’s a hilarious description of the difference between men’s and women’s brains when it comes to telling and remembering details. This is from Mark Gungor’s Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage Conference.




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Attitude

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company … a church … a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude … I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you … we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

—Charles Swindoll

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Are Your Perceptions/Assumptions making you Crazy?

“Perception is everything. Your perception determines your reality. Not reality, just your version of reality. The problem arises when your version of reality and actual reality collide.” -Mr. Prophett

Have you ever looked at a situation, observed someone else’s behavior, or found a telephone number in your mate’s belongings and automatically made an assumption that you knew what was going on. All based on “how things looked?” I know I have. Ever get ticked off on Valentines Day, Christmas, or your birthday because you didn’t like the present your mate gave you — or didn’t give you? Did you think that was a reflection of their feelings for you? I come from a family of great gift givers, meaning we were taught to give gifts geared towards what the individual would like. Not just buying anything just for the sake of giving a gift. So you can imagine my reaction when former boyfriends or hubby fell short, or missed the mark completely. I know, I know, I was a little spoiled in that department. Here’s a funny story. One Christmas my husband asked me what I wanted. I said “a pair of diamond stud earrings.” I’m not in the habit of asking for anything. I like to be pleasantly surprised. However, this time I was prepared for his question. I even showed him a picture, let him know the size, cost and where he could purchase them. That’s all I wanted. Christmas morning came and the family is all gathered around opening gifts. Hubby waits til the end, in front of my parents, to present my gift from him. I open up the box and there was a beautiful set of diamond earrings. I’m ecstatic!!! I go into the powder room to put them on. I notice the box didn’t have a jeweler’s name on it, and the backing on the posts seemed different, not as sturdy as what you see on quality jewelry. Well curious me couldn’t leave well enough alone. Listed somewhere on or in the earring box I found a tag that said the earrings were cubic zirconia! He’d never bought me cubic zirconia before. I was hurt and I was pissed! I think you ladies out there can understand, but for you men, here’s why. After all our years together, after all we’ve been through — I’ve been a good wife and mother and you don’t even care enough to give me real diamonds, instead you try to pass them off like the real thing (of course he denied this). I was thinking “how could he really love me and get me this kind of gift?” Cubic zirconia from your child is fine. You don’t expect to get it from your hubby — not unless you are young, or are just starting your lives together — and you’re broke. Besides, I felt I was too old to be getting cubic zirconia as a gift from hubby. It didn’t matter if other people didn’t know the difference — I knew, and I wanted the real thing or nothing at all. I’d even have preferred it if he told me in advance that he thought they were too expensive, couldn’t afford it and was going to get me something else. But I knew I’d picked out a pair that were on sale for a very reasonable price. Long story short, he felt bad, took the fake earrings back to the store and bought me a pair of real diamond stud earrings. No, I didn’t make him. Thanks for hanging in here with me so far. The point is — my thinking, my perception was off. I was kind of stressed from all the holiday shopping and I can be kind of sensitive sometimes when it comes to gifts from him. Not always, just sometimes. I don’t react this way when I receive gifts from others — it’s just him. I’m working on it. Be careful about making quick judgements and reading into things. One of my old co-workers used to say — “perception is everything.” Banks want to make you think they care about you. You see their ads on tv saying — put your money with us, we’ve got savings programs to meet your needs, we pay more interest than any other bank, get your car loan or home loan here. Perception. Yet, banks are the same entities foreclosing on people’s home loans. Hmmm, where is the tv ad for that? Think about your behavior and the perceptions you may give others — is it negative or positive? Here’s a funny video about perception:

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The 3 Decisions that Control Your Destiny

Decisions — How powerful are they?

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” –Anthony Robbins

One of the things my father told me during our many conversations about life is this — “People bring most of their problems in life on themselves.” How? By their choices, by the decisions they make. Note, he didn’t say all. I decided to see if this was true. I began by analyzing other people’s problems. I’ve heard many tales of woe and found his statement to be true. Illness aside, their situations/circumstances could have been avoided. Think about it. I’m just going to throw some words out here of situations and you can do the thinking — pregnancy, credit cards, running out of gas, driving under the influence of alcohol, lying, what you spend your money on, not saving money, gambling, not keeping your agreements, living beyond your means, bankruptcy. Got the picture? In the book “Awaken the Giant Within,” author Anthony Robbins http://www.tonyrobbins.com had the following to say about the power of your decisions:

The 3 Decisions that Control Your Destiny:

1. Your decisions about what to focus on.

2. Your decisions about what things mean to you.

3. Your decision about what to do to create the results you desire.

“Too many of us don’t make the majority of our decisions consciously, especially these three absolutely crucial ones; in so doing, we pay a major price. In fact, most people live what I call “The Niagara Syndrome.” I believe that life is like a river, and that most people jump on the river of life without ever really deciding where they want to end up. So, in a short period of time, they get caught up in the current: current events, current fears, and current challenges. When they come to forks in the river, they don’t consciously decide where they want to go, or which is the right direction for them. They merely “go with the flow.” They become a part of the mass of people who are directed by the environment instead of by their own values. As a result they feel out of control. They remain in this unconscious state until one day the sound of the raging water awakens them, and they discover that they’re five feet from Niagara Falls in a boat with no oars. At this point, they say, “Oh shoot!” But by then it’s too late. They’re going to take a fall. Sometimes it’s an emotional fall. Sometimes it’s a physical fall. Sometimes it’s a financial fall. It’s likely that whatever challenges you have in your life currently could have been avoided by some better decisions upstream.

How do we turn things around if we’re caught up in the momentum of the raging river? Either make a decision to put both oars in the water and start paddling like crazy in a new direction, or decide to plan ahead. Set a course for where you really want to go, and have a plan or map so that you can make quality decisions along the way.”

This is just some food for thought. You may not agree with everything that has been said, however, the decisions we make greatly impact our lives.

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What Should I Do With My Life? — Finding Your Life Purpose

Is this you? (click on video and continue reading text below after video is over)

CareerBuilder.com Tips for knowing when it’s time for a new job.

Why is it that we are always looking for something more? What is it that drives some of us to pursue, to find that “thing” that we are passionate about doing? Maybe it’s because we have all been conditioned, programmed to work for someone else and that’s not making us feel fulfilled. We were not programmed to go for what makes us happy or fulfilled, we were programmed to work a job to make a living. And the job you choose will determine what kind of lifestyle you are most likely to have. I say most likely because if you don’t have good money management skills and self-discipline, it won’t matter how much money you make. Did you know they say a lot of lottery winners end up worse off financially? Hard to believe, right?. I’ve attached some articles here on the subject:

http://www.totalbankruptcy.com/bankruptcy_articles_lottery.htm

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/SaveMoney/8lotteryWinnersWhoLostTheirMillions.aspxmake

Don’t you wish there was a magic pill that you could take before going to bed and then wake up the next morning knowing just what it is you want to do with the rest of your life? But noooo…..there’s more to it than that. There seems to have to be some kind of struggle involved. I guess it’s so we can get some of those valuable life lessons along the way — here’s what works, here’s what doesn’t. A lot of people don’t know what they want to do so don’t think you are alone. And some people already know what they want to do, but don’t exactly know how to go about it, are too tired from working their j-o-b to pursue it, or don’t know how to make money, make a living from doing it…. Because after all, we do need money to keep a roof over our heads, food in our mouths and clothes on our back.

So where was I….oh yes, money making decisions. When it came to college I decided to go for the money. At the time I didn’t know what I was going to do with an art degree, so I squelched that idea. I wanted more of a sure thing. Now my daughter is in college. I used a different tactic on her…..I’ve always encouraged her to pursue her passion — Photography and computer graphics. It’s much better to feel fulfilled in what you are going to spend most of your waking hours doing, don’t you think?

Maybe most of us bloggers are secretly writers, teachers — or both, or radio hosts and tv talk show hosts in the making. Think about it…..why do you blog?

So for those still searching, still trying to figure out what they want to be or do when they grow up here’s some videos that may help you:

Po Bronson: A Sense of Purpose

What Should I Do With My Life? Oprah Interviews Po Bronson

Find Your Life Purpose

Find Your Purpose in Life

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Cherokee Wisdom

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life…

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

“One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

“The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

“This same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
“Which wolf will win?”

The old chief simply replied,
“The one you feed.”

–Author Unknown

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Are you a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?

I just got back from attending a farewell party for a good friend of mine who will be working in Africa for at least one year. We met at work over fifteen years ago and have been friends ever since. We’ve been there for eachother through good times, and not so good times — divorce, marriage, raising kids, moves, illness, and job changes. Even though she will be living far away, I know we will keep in contact. I consider her a lifetime friend. Thinking of her leaving reminded me of all the moving around I did as a military brat. I was always leaving friends or getting left because they moved. It was never easy, and it didn’t get easier as time went by. There were always tears, followed by sadness, and sometimes just a deep feeling of lonliness. You keep in contact for awhile and then one day one of you just stops writing. There was no fight, no reason, you both just stopped. I learned that friends come and go, and your life goes on. I have made new friends since that time — some have come and gone, and some have remained. Anyone else out there experience the same thing? Ever wonder why? Perhaps this poem will shed some light on things for you:

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown




You might also like:
What’s the Purpose of Relationships?




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The 5 Steps that Control our Success or Failure

I’ve been reading the book “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself” by Dr. Shad Helmstetter. Whether you believe what he’s saying or not, it definitely gives you something to think about. I thought it was info worth sharing with you:

“It is our programming that sets up our beliefs, and the chain reaction begins. In logical progression, what we believe determines our attitudes, affects our feelings, directs our behavior, and determines our success or failure:

1. Programming creates beliefs
2. Beliefs create attitudes
3. Attitudes create feelings
4. Feelings determine actions
5. Actions create results

That’s how the brain works. If you want to manage yourself in a better way, and change your results, you can do so at any time you choose. Start with the first step. Change your programming.”

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